Frivolous Indecision

Current Mood: Happy

So in an effort to unwind and not get frustrated that I haven’t had the time I wanted to work on things today I thought I would do a frivolous Top Five.

My Top Five Frivolous Reading Websites. These I try to actually visit every day because they make me laugh or bring me frivolous joy. 5. Utterly Boring – This site is cool. Just totally frivolous things or thoughts or what-have-you.

4. Seriously So Blessed – If you are LDS and you haven’t seen this site you will LOVE it! And if you have, you know why I love this blog. It is a spoof, if you will, but what is so entertaining is that I actually know some people who are like this on their blogs!

3. Cake Wrecks – Well of COURSE this is a good one! I mean really, who doesn’t like a cake decoration gone wrong?

2. Dave Barry’s Blog – I love Dave Barry. He is witty, he is dry, he is a little bit twisted. I just can’t help going to his blog and reading him!

1. Go Fug Yourself – If you know me at all, you KNOW I love this site! These girls are PERFECT! They are spot on with 95% of their fashion critiques. They are hilarious with their hilarious and how can this site NOT be #1 with Intern George as their assistant?

There you go, my top 5 frivolous reading websites! I have more but I thought I would be a little conservative. Hopefully, I’ll be brave enough to go to 10 next time around.

Let’s watch to a little frivolity…

And, of course I am grateful for… 1. my DVR. Yes, I record and watch when I can. 2. my soft sheets…they are yummy! 3. airline sales. 4. the pause button. (if only there was one for life) 5. boost!

Current Mood: Cool

So I combined my other blog with this one. I am obviously making decisions, right? Haha. Well, I decided to combine things here and make it a little more about all about me. I’ll be adding my photos on a page or link or something as well as adding my fitness journey…somehow. More than just a family blog, I want to make it about my creativity, my life as a mother, a business owner, and my journey in trying to make those decisions on a day to day basis that shape who we are. I think I was just kind of spinning my wheels for the past year. Trying to figure out what this blog or my blog is about or what it is meant to be. So, yeah, many changes, and a little more focus. Yay me! lol

G had surgery on Friday for a hernia he had that was bigger than the size of a silver dollar. He did it about a month ago. Just before I left for Utah. At least he followed my advice and went to the doctor right away. (I’m so proud! LOL) The doctor immediately referred him to a surgeon and told him no heavy lifting (more than 10 pounds). So now he had the surgery and he has to wait another 6 weeks before he can get back in the gym. He is taking this recovery seriously which is good because…he needs to be serious about it. LOL The recovery has knocked him for a loop a bit. I think he thought he would feel much better by now. I have refrained from telling him that he is over 40 so he needs to remember that recovery isn’t going to be as easy as maybe if he were…I don’t know…30? Ha! But I am proud of him for doing what needs to be done to get himself back and healthy again.

1 week of school down and the kids are really enjoying it. I am so proud of them and their love of learning. Let’s hope that they keep this momentum up! I love picking them up from school and hearing about their day and having that one on one time with them before we get home and everything hits for the afternoon. I am going to enjoy it while it lasts since after school activities will be starting this week and in the weeks to come. Ugh.

Well, it is getting late and I have to get a kid up for seminary and get to the gym before the crack of dawn. I think I’ll go to bed.

Ciao Bellos!

I am grateful for: 1. our Sunday afternoon and evenings, they are so peaceful. 2. a husband that loves to cook and makes very yummy food! 3. my health 4. my family…I just love them. 5. my job – my boss is awesome! HAHA!

Here is an earworm for you! I have had this song in my head ALL DAY! LOL DOn’t ask why, because I really don’t know why….

Yes, you are seeing a new blog title. I am making a few changes here and I am taking this blog into a different direction. Part of this is because I want to do something….more. Because I have always loved blogging (I can’t believe I have blogged the better part of 11 years now!) and because I want do to something to challenge me and help me grow in new and exciting ways. So, just a warning…things will be a little different around here.

Now, for the update. Back in April I posted THIS. It was my way of “checking in” on things I wanted to improve or change this year. (my “non” resolutions?) I thought it was time for me to check up on my thoughts and progress….

1. To read at least 5 good/classic books – Gone With The Wind, These Is My Words, Anna Karenina, Eve and The Choice in Eden, Wuthering Heights (just to name 5…lol) – Goal accomplished! And, honestly this has really inspired me to read more thought-provoking and classic novels. I LOVE reading and I love that this goal has inspired me to continue to read worth-while material. Yay me!

2. To Eat Better – A work in progress! I am doing MUCH better with sugar. I cut refined sugar out at the beginning of the summer. Now, while I will eat sugar from time to time (Chocolate bag at McCormick’s for my anniversary) I don’t have nearly the cravings or even the desire to eat it like I used to. I don’t deny myself entirely but the balance is there and I feel SO much better! This summer has been a little challenging since I haven’t been home a lot but 3 weeks ago when we got home from Utah we got back on track with better meals and my eating has greatly improved. I noticed some of my clothes are a little looser and that has been a huge motivator for me to continue with our healthier eating choices. I still workout every morning and I *love* it! I love being able to work out without interruptions or schedules interfering. I feel so much more energy from this “early to bed/early to rise” schedule I’ve been on. I feel like this goal will be one I will continue for years but I honestly feel progress since the last “review” I did.

3. To grow spiritually by reading my scriptures more diligently and other church publications – Still reading the BOM every morning before going to the gym. It really just starts my day out well. No matter how cranky/groggy/foggy/whatever I might be in the morning when I get up. Reading first thing really sets my mind and centers my soul. I picked “Jesus The Christ” back up since it had been some time since I read it and frankly I think I speed-read it the first time. I am half way through and I really feel like I am getting more out of it this time around. There are things that resonate with me more and I like feeling that “light bulb” go on when something connects with me. =) I definitely feel like I am progressing through this goal in the manner which I intended.

4. To focus more on positive things around me and strive to have more positive and uplifting influences. – I really have been feeling more peace this summer. I have had some real trials over the past year and a few challenges this summer. I have to say that I know that my interaction with others I have been at peace. I have been loving and I have been understanding. I have set boundaries which have helped me still care for or love others without getting mired in the drama or in the chaos that is in their lives. I have to say that I honestly think that my 3rd goal along with my daily prayers have really helped me not feel negative toward others or situations that come my way. I’m not perfect by any means and it doesn’t mean that I don’t get hurt by others’ actions or frustrated when I am put in situations by others’ actions or words. But, I have become stronger in my ability to stay out of the fray and not get pulled in by drama or chaos caused by others even if they do try to involve me.

5. To take the time to enjoy the simple joys with my children and husband. – I LOVE this! FHE, night swims in the pool as a family, movie dates, a 2nd honeymoon with my sweet husband, an impromptu vacay to Utah with 3 of the kids. We have had great times just here at the house together and we have done a few things (rather unexpectedly) away from here. But no matter what I have seen the kids bond with each other and with both me and my husband in wonderful ways since I have tried to make this a priority. The best part is some of the best experiences have been just hanging out in the home. I love to see the kids really getting along and it has been a blessing this summer to see them just enjoy time together, laugh and play. I am so blessed!

I am grateful for…. 1. gorgeous storms and seeing the magnificence of nature. 2. a clean bathroom. 3. tomatoes….I am…I just love them. 4. the sound of my children laughing. 5. the sound of my oldest snoring….you have no idea how much I love it when he goes to sleep at a decent hour! LOL

And of course….a little music to brighten your day…

And no, I am not talking about the societal obsession that seems to be rampant with regards to vampires. Although I do have to say that I have been quite intrigued with the Sookie Stackhouse series (the books not the show, sorry folks) but that isn’t just about vampires, it is about a whole world of magical creatures. (Can you even IMAGINE that Sookie is part Fairy? I mean how cool is that! And of course that would explain why she is so enticing to vampires and other magical creatures…but I digress.)

Okay so I have decided that I am going to take my blog here in a new direction, er maybe just expanded. I still have the family one which is mainly for friends and family to be able to access. This is still going to be more about me. My thoughts, my experiences, my opinions. I am, however, going to put myself out there again. I want to delve back into blogging and writing. Not that I was ever any good at it, just that it was a very good release for me at one point in time.

Let’s see….hopefully I won’t regret it. LOL

Video of the day….

And my daily gratitude: 1. my new backsplash! I love it! 2. my polarized sunglasses, I’m addicted. 3. my spontaneity 4. my mickey lights that are funky colors. 5. the beautiful day we had today!

Beginning of school always marks new things in our home. As, I am sure it does for many. The youngest two went for their first day today. I did not get pictures because I am a loser mother and I got home from the gym just in time to take them. JoJo, the silly girl decided she wanted my assistance in making sure she got her locker and knew where her team’s hallway was. She was so cute and yet so grown up in some ways. Still….my little girl though. Campbell, however decided that he was old enough to go on his own. “I’m good mom. I’m older now you know and I know where my pod is. You don’t need to come in because I can do this on my own.” As cheerful as I could be I let him know I was proud of him for being so “grown up” and for being good on his own. Doesn’t mean I didn’t sniffle a little when I drove away watching him wave with a big ole smile on his face. It is endearing to see my kids get to these milestones and happily proceed wanting to be independent and making those “older” choices on their own. I do have to admit I got a little misty-eyed when he decided he didn’t need me. I guess those days of walking your child into school and making sure they are happy and secure in the four walls of their classroom are over. Lesigh.

Mallea is being home schooled or going through independent study or whateveryouwanttocallit. It was time for her. We always had this option open with her. When Mallea hit middle school G and I talked and we knew that was always an option. we always had it in the back of our minds that this would happen. Especially with her struggles. Seeing how her anxiety levels started to really spike last school year and noticing that gap get a little wider with her understanding socially, it just sort of evolved this year. When it comes to the kids and the decisions we make I don’t really overly discuss things generally. I don’t know but I am sure there is some psychological reason behind it. Anywho….G and I talked about pulling her out of school and home schooling her after a few situations this summer led us to understand some of her limitations and her needs were beyond what she was getting generally from school in a conventional manner. I am pleased with the support we got from the special education Assistant Supt. I have always been impressed with her and her pragmatic approach. I am so glad we have her full support behind us and I am confident that this will be the best thing for her. She will be able to study at her own pace and she will be able to pursue other courses that she otherwise would not have the time or ability to if she were going to regular school.

G and I decided that I need to cut my day short. My goal is to be done with office work at 1pm and be able to work from home after that. This will give me the ability to spend time with Mallea alone before the other two get home. Hopefully, I will be able to stick to that! LOL I also have some additional goals to pursue some interests that have long been passions of mine. I am making an effort to put forth time and effort into some of these interests since they bring me peace and help me have a creative outlet that I have always wanted/needed. My reading list has greatly expanded so that won’t go anywhere either. LOL

Let’s see if I can get some of these goals accomplished!

Gratitude: 1. The beautiful place in which I live. 2. Friends that make me laugh. 3. watching my son play with this dog. 4. my sisters 5. My sweet husband who is more compassionate than he likes for people to think he is. lol

Beverly Campbell does such an inspiring job as she explains Eve’s choice and her participation in Eden. This book was one of those that I could NOT put down! It really made me think. I love how at the beginning of her book she poses questions. Questions that are as old as the story of the Garden of Eden itself. This incredible book then takes you along with Eve through the thoughts of prophets, scripture, and other religious theologians from the beginning of the participation in the creation of the Garden, her and Adam’s life that was spent in Eden, and why she made the choice she did. As well as their journey from the Garden and what it truly meant to them and to all of us.

It provokes thoughts of Eve “The Mother of All Living” and the honor that beheld her in her decision to transgress (not sin) in order to bring mortal beings (namely us) into this world. This was part of the plan. This was a necessary step to The Plan of Happiness. The Fall was just as important as The Atonement along with The Resurrection. Her role was not accidental nor was it abhorrent as some would choose to believe. This struck a chord with me to my very core. To be a proud daughter of Eve and to be able to identify with that great woman, is something I feel is a pinnacle of my existence. Not just here on earth, but throughout the eternities. I firmly believe that she is was just as important as Adam in Eden. That she was a partner in their instruction from God and that when she made the choice she did, it was because it was time for her and Adam to move forward with The Plan that was made before this life. This clarified so many mixed emotions I had about Eve and my misconceptions of the perception of her. This book solidifies my knowledge that the gifts woman was given was to help balance the priesthood for man and that neither can “be” without the other. That it truly is a partnership and that with God at the head of the marriage man and woman are to each do their part in order to progress together through the eternities.

This book just didn’t make me happy I was a daughter of Eve, it strengthened my understanding of who I am and what my purpose is here on this earth. My gifts as a woman are divinely given and that I have a duty and obligation to use those gifts as God expects me to. I am proud of my lineage through the ages back to Eve and I embrace my womanhood. My strength as woman surpasses social custom and restraints veiled as misconstrued weakness. Of this, I am sure.

I am woman, hear me roar! Haha…kidding.

Current Mood: Cool

I think I need some more moods…I mean the ones here on my blog, that is. LOL I have plenty of the other kinds. Haha! Well, this summer has definitely been a lot more interesting then we anticipated. And most definitely busier. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, per se, however it sure does move schedules back. It was my goal to try and get much of some of our more hefty house renovations done this summer. I am not sure what I was thinking! Maybe that I would be here more? HAHA! RIIIIIGHT! So school starts next week and I am seeing that we are only 1/2 way through much of our renovations but I guess that is to be expected. And maybe that is a good thing? Who knows. LOL

I was gone a lot more this summer, more than usual. And more than I intended. In the end they were good trips and much happiness came from them, even if they didn’t start for good reasons. My intention is to get the rest of my pictures uploaded and create a little video of the summer fun we had…hopefully soon. LOL

JoJo starts middle school. She is excited/anxious. I have confidence in her and the fact that she tries to always create good experiences from new situations. She is definitely growing up. I’m still not sure if I like that…

CW starts 4th grade. He is back at his old elementary school and he is excited to see his old friends. It will be new for him not to be at school with Jo but it will give him the chance to really make himself known as an individual rather than Jo’s little brother. He has really grown so much this summer. I am so proud of the interests he has pursued and the kind of young man he is trying to be.

Mallea will be doing independent study. We have her enrolled in a program and this will be a great opportunity for her to pursue some interests that school limited for her. We have everything set and it will be a good change for her on many levels. She is very excited to delve into programs that she can now participate in. I’m excited for her!

Payne is home. He has a behavior modification implementer (that is the official title. lol) that comes into the home every day for a couple of hours. They work on a variety of things and this has been the best thing for him since we pulled him out of school last winter. He is so happy and his anxiety levels are so low that his behavior struggles have been virtually non-existent!

This summer has been full of swimming, golf, travel, family, relaxing, reading, and much more. Every summer I look back and see three months packed full of memories and some of the most enjoyable are those of just being at home with my children. I see tremendous growth in them every summer from beginning to end and I am in awe of their abilities and their maturity by the time the end of August comes around.

This year will be different on many levels but we are excited for the challenge and for the changes! As long as one is moving forward change is a good thing.

I just had to post this song. It just seems to fit this post and it is one of my favorites!

Gratitude is back! 1. my husband and his unending support. 2. my relationship with my Heavenly Father 3. my children and their hard work and diligence. 4. my family, sisters who love me and accept me. 5. reading – my love of reading and how it expands my horizons and helps me stay centered.

Leo Tolstoy…oh what a talented and insightful a writer. I had always wanted to read Anna Karenina. The story always intrigued me. Knowing how much his writing has influenced other of my favorite writers I just had to take the initiative to read it. Yes, it is long. Yes, it is a difficult read. If you are not a lover of the classics or if that writing style is hard to digest I do not suggest reading it. Although it is a love story I would not call it beautiful. It kind of reminded me of Gone With The Wind in some respects. The characters are hopelessly flawed and the heroine is so messed up she doesn’t really know which end is up. But Tolstoy does an amazing job at giving the reader a glimpse of love, hatred, despair, pride, tenderness, understanding among a great many other emotions. In the end, it shows how selfishness, insecurity, and pride can literally destroy love and those around you. But I love it. I loved how it was written. I loved how some of the characters really came to know and understand themselves and those around them. I loved how happiness was found even through some of the most miserable of circumstances. Maybe not in my top 5, but definitely in the top 10.

Anna – Anna was to me a little spoiled. And very conceited. While in the respect she reminded me very much of Scarlet O’Hara, the difference is Anna knew how to love others. She also knew how to give of herself. Her vision wasn’t so one-sided yet it was extremely flawed. I guess you could say it was because she felt so utterly alone. She saw in others’ marriages and relationships what she wanted in her own. Anna was desperate, not for attention and adoration but for real and true abiding love. Not thinking it was possible in the marriage to Alexi she was definitely more open to it and therefore was a willing heart when Vronsky entered the picture. She just wanted to be loved she was weary of coldness and indifference. She wanted something real in her life and thought that she didn’t deserve it until Vronsky came into her life. Unfortunately her desire turned into obsession. Because it became an obsession she was never happy with what she had….she had a tendency of wanting more and more. She was sheltered and ignorant of the kind of life leaving her husband and running away would be like. Ultimately, she sacrificed the selfless and good love – the love for her son for a selfish and insecure love. It didn’t last because it wasn’t on good terms. Her and Vronsky’s love turned bad because they thought only of themselves and no one else it effected. In the end she destroyed herself because she couldn’t take the toll it had on Vronsky and most certainly on herself.

Vronsky – An idealist in the strangest of sense. He was too, a selfish man. He had definitely aspirations of what he thought he wanted and what he wanted his life to mean. I could be glib and say that he threw it all away for a woman (and he did) but I think it was more than that. He fully believed in Anna. He fully believed in himself he really felt that their love, or rather his love for her could solve any problem or save them from any trial that came upon them. He under estimated Anna’s love for her child and for her longing to be home. He too under estimated himself and what he thought could make him whole or complete. I think he tried the best he could to hold things together and to take care of her. But I think he wanted to care for everyone. He really had that sense of managing things and making everyone around him feel like he could do it all. He couldn’t and only after he saw that did things begin to fall apart for him as well as his love for Anna.

Karenin – I don’t think he ever really knew how to love anyone. I think he honestly tried but his pride was far above anything else. He originally didn’t want a wife for anything more then an accomplishment. Someone he could show off, someone to give him a son. But he too under estimated his own feelings and then he began to realize them it was too late for his pride to move aside. This part of the story to me is so tragic because you see him closed and then you see him open up. He see the capabilities of his greatness when he is open and then, before you know it, he is closed again. It is so sad to see this character open up only to become harder and more closed than before.

Kostya – I loved how he slowly changed from this direct and kind of elitist to someone who was willing to do anything for Kitty. Even through his own insecurities he chose to be with her and devoted himself to her. I loved seeing him change and evolve and allow his love for Kitty become something real and vital in his life.

Kitty – what a flighty little thing. Yet still she learned so much and realized that sometime what we think we want is not what is best for us. Ignorant yet understanding. I do love how she grew herself was settled in what she knew she wanted. I loved how she relied on Kostya to give her what she never knew she needed before she lost everything.

Stiva – What a fool. I never really liked him and while he was affable and generally a happy person he lacked a moral compass. I thought he was a fool and I thought he relied too much on others to help take care of him when he should have been the one taking care of his wife and children and even Anna to some extent at times. He was clueless and I think he preferred it that way.

Dolly – She had such a sense and understanding of people in general. I love her. Her character was someone that through her own trial she learned and grew not only in herself but in others as well. She was really like a wise mother and mothered all those she could once she understood real love and forgiveness and even joy in those that she she care for.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading Anna Karenina! This book is not for the faint of heart. LOL And certainly not for those who read simpler books. This is not an easy read by any means but if you love classic novels and enjoy those stories of old then I would highly recommend it. Tolstoy loved Anna Karenina and I can certainly understand now why he fought so hard to keep his story and the writing intact. I have such an appreciation and love for classic novelists and the writers of old. And Tolstoy only strengthened.

Graigg and I have been married 20 years. I can’t believe that it has been long and it feels like we have never been apart. It is kind of strange to have both those feelings at the same time. I could go on and on with how wonderful I think he is but we were having kind of a fun conversation last night at dinner (our actual anniversary day) and I thought I would expound on it here. We were talking about all the things we thought we learned from the past 20 years. What we learned from each other and what we learned from being together. It was a fun and meaningful conversation for both of us. So instead of talking about all the things I love about him (I do that too much anyway. lol) I wanted to just list a few of the things that we had fun discussing last night.

Things he learned from me (according to him): 1. How to be patient (obviously patience is something that people need with me. lol) 2. How to accept others despite their flaws. 3. How to turn a negative into a positive. 4. How to roll with the punches (especially when it comes to Payne). 5. How to be forgiving.

Hmmm…I’m not sure if I really taught him ALL of that but I thought it was so sweet of him to believe in me that much and to share those things with me.

Here are a few things that I learned from him: 1. How to stretch beyond what I THINK my capabilities are. 2. How to have more confidence in myself, both personally and professionally. 3. How to accept failures as life lessons and make things better the next time an opportunity arises. 4. How to believe in myself. (mainly because he always just believed in me.) 5. How to be more service oriented. (Yes my husband is actually better at that than I am.)

And a few things in the short 20 years that we have been together that has helped us not only stay together but grow closer to one another. I guess I look at it as the secret to how we have been able to be happy together for 20 years.

1. We have learned how to laugh at the little things. We really enjoy laughing as a family and a couple as it is. But to look for things to laugh at through the trials is something we both kind of developed a knack for. It is so helpful to have a partner that is willing to help me laugh when sometimes I just want to cry.

2. We have learned the importance of forgiving each other and not to sweat the small things. Sometimes things seem like a big deal at the time in reality they really aren’t as important as we thought. Learning to forgive each other of little things as well as big has been vital to our relationship and our ability to feel safe and protected by one another.

3. We have learned to be grateful for everything we have in our relationship and in our lives. Small or big, it really doesn’t matter. We firmly know that these are all gifts we are given and we truly appreciate those who are in our lives, and the temporal blessings we have been given.

4. We have learned to find joy in and through our trials. No matter how hard life can get we have learned to look for the good and find ways to bond together through hardships. Leaning on each other instead of blaming or looking for faults with one another has helped us to look at each struggle together as a team.

5. We have learned to enjoy each other and accept each other in spite of our deficiencies. To say that we are each other’s best friend just sounds kind of cliche. It is more then that. He calls me when he is frustrated or when he is excited or when he needs someone to help him think through something. I do the same. But we also rely on each other to help with balancing parenting duties, house responsibilities, and work. He knows instantly when I am “off” (as he calls it) or when I need more from him emotionally or even spiritually. I can tell when he is stressed or when he needs me to take over things that he normally handles.

As with all relationships we have our down cycles just like our up. But over all, as time goes by we look forward to growing old together instead of struggling to stay young together. Graigg made an interesting comment. He told me that loves learning and changing with me. He tells me he can’t wait to grow old with me. We look forward toward the coming years together. If we have learned that much just from the last 20 years I am excited to see what the next 20 bring us!

Ti amo Amore!

Our Song:

Current Mood: Cool

Just a conversation I had with Jo this evening left me laughing…

Me – “Jo, remember I told you that your phone is either ‘on your person’ or in your bag so you don’t loose it.”

Jo – ” I don’t know what you mean.”

Me – “yes you do. You either have it in your pocket or it is in your bag.”

Jo – “OH!!!!! I still don’t get what ‘on your person’ means though.”

My sister Kristy – “Well, sometimes if you get pulled over by a police officer they will ask if someone has a gun ‘on their person’ meaning – they are holding it somewhere or have it in a pocket, etc”

Jo – “OHHHHHH!!! Okay now I get it! I thought you meant that I had a little person with me and that it was on them….get it? On “my” person? I was trying to make sense of that.

Me – HA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Seriously – that kid has some of the best thought processes. I love her.

In honor of my sweet Amore whom I miss SO MUCH since I have been in Utah…