Finding Joy In The Journey

Current Mood: Cool

We got the information from our attorney yesterday. It looks like our court date for guardianship is April 2. We were given the name of the court appointed attorney that has to come out and interview Payne. They will be contacting us in the next week. We were also told that a sheriff will be coming out to serve Payne with “guardianship papers”. That ought to be interesting. haha! The attorney will determine if Payne is capable of testifying in court. I am glad we started this process back in December. The court date is 2 weeks after his 18th birthday and that was the soonest we could get in. This will be a challenge not that it will be hard to prove that we need complete custody of him but just having to do something like this is never really fun, is it? lol It really has been a long road with him. While I wouldn’t take anything back with him, I can’t deny that it has been hard. As much as we have missed out on so many “normal” things what we get in return of him being in our lives MORE than makes up for it. It is hard to explain and no one really understands it unless they have a child like this. It changes your entire being….as a parent, a person. It changes your perspective on life, emotionally, intellectually, physically, in every aspect. I do wish things were easier on him. I see the struggle in his eyes daily. I hear it in his voice. I know he has so much that he wishes he could share but he can’t. What touches me are the people in our lives that truly make an effort to get to know him. Who aren’t afraid of him. Or who take the initiative to have a relationship with him on his level. We have had people who have taken the time and effort out of their own schedule just to be around him, knowing that he may not respond. We have had people willing to change things just so that he can be included. We have had friends willing to have gatherings at our house just so we can all be included. We have had friends who know and understand his limitations and have been very considerate of our limitations because of him. Coming out to Kansas City has given us a network of support that has no comparison and I am grateful for that every day of my life. When friends give so much of themselves in order to be a part of our lives and help us they truly become family in so many ways. No matter what has happened with him in the past year especially, medically, physically, developmentally, I have the best level of support and understanding from those close to me I have been able to talk to about the struggles, the trials, the concerns, the joys, the funny, the sad, and the frustrating. As I start this new phase of our lives that include guardianship, medical issues, disability, social security, medicaid, transition into adult programs among many other things I am so glad I have people who care, who make the effort to know what is going on with this amazing boy young man, whom I can lean on as well as laugh with; I know that I am so fortunate to have such generous and compassionate people in my life here where I feel so much as home.

Now if we can get him to leave the house I will claim success on my parenting! LOL

Here are a few of his favorite songs that he likes us to sing to him….
*This one he listens to ALL the time….I have it on his Ipod for him.*

He will sing this with the music…I love it!

This is one from when he was very little….He LOVES this song!

These songs really tell you the kind of person he is.

It seems as though I am constantly behind on catching up with my blog here. You know I have had a dream for years, off and on. It is me running either toward or away from something and I am TOOOO SLOW and I can never catch up or get away from whatever it is. I am sure there is some weird psychological reason behind that dream or some issue with me because I have that dream. Maybe now it is just my blog manifesting into that dream. Probably.

Well, we went to Orlando for a week back In Jan/Feb. It was fun and we really enjoyed it! It was great to see Payne able to be calm on the plane. And by calm I mean he slept. He LOVED the house and it was perfect. Enough space to let him get away from all the commotion but yet we were all together. Of course the heated pool and jacuzzi in the backyard helped tremendously as well! We had even days and there wasn’t one day where he had a meltdown! Success!!! We had upgraded our passes this year to include the water parks and DisneyQuest. This was wonderful this trip because it rained for 1/2 a day for two days and we were able to escape the wetness to be inside Disney Quest and still have a blast! It was so fun to play all the virtual games along with some good old classics. It was well worth the money! And when we go back we will be able to go to the water parks as well as much as we want. Yay us! A very successful trip and everyone loved it! =)

A week later I went to Red Mountain with 3 friends. I have to say this was an amazingly fun and tiring trip! LOL We hiked and biked just about every day. We took exercise classes as well as cooking classes. And then in the evening we had a spa treatment…every. single. day. Getting pampered like that was heaven after all the fun and activity during the day. I learned a lot. We made a lot of FUN memories. Lasting memories. This is the third time I have traveled with Pam and Debbie…the fourth with Kim and I thoroughly enjoy spending time with them. They are easy-going. None of us are high-maintenance, nor are we hyper-sensitive about who is spending time with whom. We had a conversation about how nice it was that we all could hang out together or not and no one got offended or neurotic about it. It is just relaxing to be with people who aren’t pretentious, who include whomever and want everyone to have fun. They aren’t worried about what they do or don’t get to do or who it is we are doing it with. But we also make sure everyone knows what is going on so that no one feels excluded or left out. There were some things we definitely did together and we all made sure we could all do them together. It was just refreshing and endearing to have the courtesy of everyone wanting to be together no matter what and then taking the schedule from there. We may not be blood related but it was like hanging out with good friends who are just like sisters. We even decided that we needed to write a book about our escapades because when we get together, there is NEVER a dull moment!

I got back on Saturday. Just in time for another lovely snow storm. And by lovely, I mean hellishly cold, windy and snowy. LOL It has taken a few days but I am finally caught up! My house isn’t….but I am. LOL Graigg and the kids were SO sweet! I could tell they really missed me, as I did them. While it was nice to get away and recharge and spend time with good friends I always come back completely refreshed and ready for all the challenges we have been facing. Graigg was a doll and had a romantic evening set up for us when I walked in the door. It was hard to be away from each other. It is funny, how we hate being apart. After about a day we both start getting antsy and feel like we can’t think straight. He was great with the kids though and they had fun with the joy of having dad around and not having to really do any hard work. HAHA!

Well, I best be getting back to the grind. But because I love my music and because it is my two FAVORITE things…Disney and Michael Buble! PERFECT! LOL

Current Mood: Cool

A video of Graigg and the kids in one teacup and Payne in the other. Having a blast on the teacups at WDW.

We were walking to Pirates of the Caribbean yesterday when Pirate’s Tutorial was starting. The kids got in on a little action with CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow…

Current Mood: Cool & Happy

Ready for Spring – can you tell? I whipped this up over the weekend and I really like it. LOL

Ready for our trip! We leave this afternoon and I am really excited on several fronts. Hopefully, we will come home with more than just a relaxing time with the kids. We will see.

Ready to hit the ground running with my shaping up for this year. With my workouts, my food, etc.

Ready to talk about what I am grateful for. Yes, this is a short entry. Yay me! LOL

Grateful for….
1. airplanes that take me away.
2. kids that can help pack or will pack themselves without too much monitoring from me.
3. my employees and how great they are at just keeping things rolling when we aren’t around.
4. good books that let me escape.
5. the 70 degree weather that I will be headed toward here in a few hours. LOL

And of course…a little tune…

Current Mood: Happy

Okay I have 5 draft posts in my posts menu. I’m not really good at the finishing and posting thing, am I. Oopsie. Let’s see….I didn’t get a Christmas post in, I didn’t get my “end of year wrap up” post in, I didn’t get my “It’s a New Year and These are My Goals” post in, and finally I didn’t get my “here’s where I am” post in. So, Christmas was fun and the kids had a blast as did mom and dad. The end of the year recap helped me see all the wonderful things we accomplished and helped me look forward to our new goals both professionally and personally. The new year was rung in with a quiet evening playing games with the kids and hanging out with a good friend and her kids. We all had fun and went to bed promptly at 12:01 am. Happy New Year! That just leaves where I am….

I’m at work. Every. Day. I have to say for the most part I really really enjoy it! We have been able to get so much accomplished and things are really humming right along! Growth is always a good thing, even it is hard from time to time. It just seems like just when we think we can take a breath and regroup from growth, more growth just keeps coming instead. That’s good, right? ? ?

We are gearing up for our next WDW trip. Yes, we go a lot. Yes, we were just there. Yes, we are going again. With Payne’s recent issues and coordinating regression it just makes it all the more important for us to be able to spend time with him where we can effectively pull him out of his world and be more aware of our world.

I am still training and I am finally….FINALLY adding the food to my change here. It is helping….but slowly. I just need to stay focused which is not easy when your husband buys 10 boxes of thin mint girl scout cookies and 5 boxes of the samoas (yes I know that they don’t call them that anymore but I don’t care because that is how I know them and I’m not offending anyone…so there. LOL) But I am determined and I might just start logging my information here….maybe…at least my training sessions and possibly my food.

I am starting my gratitude journal back up….well, my online one anyway. LOL Oh which reminds me. I bought myself a small notebook that fits in my purse and I decided to write down little positive affirmations or things I am happy about or grateful for. I started doing this in December and I really love it. I love reading it, I love writing in it. I love how it makes me feel.

So…grateful am I….
1..for my husband and his inspiration with our family, etc.
2..My scriptures and how I feel when I am reading them consistently.
3..my sweet boy who helps me out so much and has become SO responsible lately!
4..my health and strength.
5..my trainer and how he has helped me view myself and my food differently.

Gotta end with a video, right? LOL

I have all these aspirations of getting things done. Working on the family site, working on the autism site, blogging, pursuing some of my more passionate interests. Things I really like or LOVE to do. However, things just get in the way. Not the family stuff…the work stuff. I’m not complaining, mind you. We are incredibly blessed right now and I find work very stimulating and thoroughly enjoy working with Graigg and really watching our little business flourish. However….I am getting a little frustrated with the amount of time this little growth spurt has incurred and tromped into my personal time. I must say I guess I have been rather spoiled and in the past 3 months things just have been getting more and more busy. bah.

I had all the intentions of getting out Christmas cards this year. Here I sit on the 14th realizing that not only do I not have cards but my address list is sorely lacking and I don’t have the time or energy to even get it together. So, another year come and gone and all our friends and acquaintances will think that we are scroogies and don’t send out cards or feel like we want to spread Christmas cheer to our loved ones. I would care, but I don’t have the time to.

The kids have really kicked things up since things have been so busy. Their reading minutes have been sorely lacking but I can’t really complain since they are really helping tons with the house and other responsibilities. And since Payne refuses to go to school, his bus driver has been coming over and helping by watching him and helping out around the house. This has led me to believe that I need an Alice. I need someone to come in about 4 hours a day and just do general housekeeping. Wow, I sound spoiled. But, I must admit that would be the perfect gift.

Well, I have more I would like to say but every time I type out a line I delete it because it sounds boring and mundane. Maybe it is because the weather has decidedly turned against me and has made every effort to make me miserable every minute of the day. If it isn’t arctic winds at 25 knots (is that right? I don’t know. lol) then it is single digit temperatures. This Thing called winter is totally over rated when there isn’t snow and all fluffy before Christmas. I’m just saying.

Okay because I always have to have a song or a picture or both here you go….

No one can sing it like Bing…NO ONE. =)

Our kids and a couple friends being whos in Whoville before seeing The Grinch.

I know I have been a major slacker with my entries. It is foundation time of year and that always makes things busier than normal. Also, we have made some major changes to the businesses. We merged one of them and we combined the others into an S-Corp. Mainly for tax purposes but also because we have gotten to a point to where we needed to streamline and update ourselves as a company. This also means we have had to upgrade things on the technology end. Growing pains are sometimes fun, sometimes hard, sometimes exciting…just everything at once.

Graigg went fishing last week in Mexico. I’m not sure if he really enjoyed it. He did except that I know he was hoping to get more of the big game. He did end up with some good sized rooster fish and he loved the fight with those. Oh, and he caught Crush…
Well, not really the REAL Crush and not on purpose. The turtle got caught on his hook. He reeled him in and then carefully took the hook off and then let him go. Haha. DUUUUUUUUDE! Anyway, after the second day of fishing he wanted to come back. I think he liked the down time but only for a day or two. He said it was too long to be gone from me and the kids. How sweet! SO we were able to find a flight for $200 for Thursday! He came home a day early and we were ALL so excited to see him!!!

This week is Thanksgiving (yeah, doi) and I have to say since I have started doing my gratitude journal here I have really come to see just how much on a daily basis I have that I am so blessed for! By no means does it mean that my life is happy and go-lucky every day but being able to dwell on the good has really helped me handle the trials we have had lately. It has also helped me really appreciate so much the holiday itself. I think it was genius of Abraham Lincoln to have Thanksgiving so close to Christmas…those two holidays really do go hand in hand which is probably why I don’t care when Christmas overlaps.

Well, I just got back from the gym and my mind is totally mush. I have nothing to say anymore. LOL So I’ll end with my gratitude journal and a song.

I am grateful for….
1. The Atonement – the fact that I am loved so much I am worth saving.
2. my son and the blessings that he brings into my life and the privileged it is mine to raise him.
3. my eternal companion and the common goals we share.
4. my mickey candy cane lights – yeah I had to go there.
5. the fact that my needs are met and that we are fortunate enough to help others. I truly feel that no matter how little you have when you give to others the blessings come back tenfold.

Not a song but I couldn’t resist..

Current Mood: Happy

Well, I have been going back and forth forever on what I want to do here. I still don’t know. This is part of why I haven’t posted a ton. Part of me wants to post more personal things elsewhere but then part of me doesn’t know how to divide the two. I’m all in a quandary and, well, that isn’t really news is it. Haha!

The kids have been sick. After My and Graigg’s battling with the stomach flu Frik and Frak decided to come down with bronchitis. I just love it when my kids share. However, I wish they would refrain from sharing illnesses. They have been on a round of antibiotics and I am really hoping that this will end soon because Jo is DRA-MA-TIC when it comes to her being sick. Last night poor Mallea came down with the stomach bug that has been plaguing our household. This is the most we have been sick in years! We are not normally sick. So, yeah, this isn’t fun. LOL

Graigg left to go fishing this week. Poor guy hasn’t been on a real vacation in probably 3 years. I told him to go and just relax and decompress. He went further south to go deep sea fishing in Mexico. I hope he has a wonderful time! I hope he is able to relax and enjoy himself. He was so sweet being nervous about being gone and worrying about me and the kids. I’m so lucky. This man is always there to help and hasn’t been away from me or the kids for over 3 years. He is going through withdrawals. LOL

We took Frik and Frak to see A Christmas Carol on Friday at the Imax. It was FUN! The movie was kind of intense but it was good. Campbell was okay after I explained to him that he needed to be scared because he was so bad. I think that helped. LOL It has inspired me to pick the book up and read it again. I think I will.

We got our tree up last night and decorated before Graigg left. The kids were in HEAVEN! I know some people are adamant about not doing anything Christmas until after Thanksgiving but I just can’t help but mesh the two. We love both holidays so they both get celebrated all the month of November. yay!

Well, I am going to have to leave this short and kind of lame since I am working for two today. Haha!

Gratitude never ends for me!
1. Answered Prayers
2. Technology such as cell phones so I can talk to my honey!
3. The steadiness of our work in this economy and how blessed we are.
4. Disney Music streaming from my computer all…day…long!
5. warm fuzzy socks.

And just because I want to….

So this weekend was supposed to be fun and productive and eventful. Well, we got eventful at least. Productive for G. Not so much fun. I woke up around 2 am Saturday morning with the ever so lovely stomach flu. Man that was something fierce. This seriously knocked me out most of Saturday until about 5 pm. I went from the bed to the bathroom and back to the bed all morning and day. Poor G. He had to be at the stake center to set up for conference at 8 am. Then when he was done we came back to get some things done around the house since I was completely incapacitated which means he didn’t get anything he needed done…just house stuff. He had to head back over at 2 to practice their number for priesthood session. Then they had their meeting with an hour break before the adult session of conference. I did not make it…of course. The kids, however, were wonderful. They didn’t argue at all. They helped around the house. They cleaned up Zero’s puke in his crate since I couldn’t even get out of bed. They even did a load of laundry for me! A wonderful friend came and brought OJ for Payne’s meds. Then she came back with dinner for the kids. And then she came back a third time with Gatoraide for me! How sweet!!! G got home to a house semi-messy but at least by then I was on the couch and not shivering under the covers. I took some nyquil and knocked out the rest of the night. I was so bummed I missed Elder Nielson’s address to us at the adult session.

This morning I woke up around 9 feeling miles better and at least like I didn’t want to keel over and die. G text me since he had been at meetings since 7. I drug myself into the shower and actually made it to conference. I was SO glad I did! I did NOT want to miss Elder Burns or Elder Nielson! I got to meet and shake hands with him afterward as well. It was truly a wonderful experience. A little bittersweet since they were there to change our stake presidency but such a wonderful experience none-the-less. A little story I have to tell (a little brag on my sweet husband). He was asked to coordinate the men’s number for the priesthood meeting the day before. He had decided on Brightly Beams which is one my favorites that they do. He told me that he thought they sounded good. (this is big coming from him since he is always very critical of himself) Anyway, he said that both Elder Burns and Elder Nielson changed their prepared talks after hearing the song. He said it they were very good talks. I think he felt humbled that they praised the number he had put together. He was also very humbled that he was able to sit and talk with them a while after the meeting.

It was not the weekend i wanted to have but I am so happy that my dear husband was able to have such an experience. He makes me so proud, daily, with what he does and how he strives to always be what he knows he should be. I am blessed to have such a man who loves me and our children and his Savior as he does. He is one of the most humble men I know, not wanting credit or praise especially when he should get it. But he is always there, no matter what for those in need. He does not think twice about whether or not they deserve it. Nor does he ever really care or want others to know of the service he offers or renders. He has a tendency to have a bit of a rough exterior but he has the biggest heart I know. Not ever caring whether or not people should need help but only if he can assist. He doesn’t talk about things he does or the successes in his life. He truly believes that everything he has been given has been a blessing and gives him a responsibility to help those around him. I am blessed.

Here is an arrangement of the song he did. They did sing a slightly different arrangement although it was acapella as well.

I am so grateful for…
1. My faith in my Savior and His love for me.
2. my husband and his service to others.
3. my children and their willingness to pitch when needed.
4. my friends who care and will bring me 7-up when I am on my death bed.
5. drugs that help me sleep